Richuals™ are easy to apply, time-tested, practical wisdom, culled from career and personal experience and insightful business and life lessons. They have helped guide me through common and difficult challenges, on the job and at home. I hope the same for you.
First, for the analytically and literally minded, a bit of level setting is in order.
Take for example, those times when you attempted to give what you considered rational insights, advice or feedback, be it at work or at home … directed to your employees, customers, peers, boss, or if you dared, to your spouse, partner or your kids.
Let's take it one step further. Were the observations, counsel and your desire to improve things, well deserved, impeccably timed, correct and generally on target? Sure, they were!
If ever, it did not go the way you planned or expected, you experienced the frustration of being “Right, but NOT Effective!
You may have speculated, why your input had not been well received.
Indifference or pushback is often a result of how recipients process messages. To them … your input may have been ambiguous, too clear; completely wrong, painfully accurate, or it may have shaken their confidence and credibility.
You were likely pointing out a needed change, bolstered by your reasoning. Good or bad, change often creates a disruption in one’s status quo and overlays it with anxiety. Being the messenger can be risky, particularly if they didn’t ask for your help.
So why is it, when you are confident that what you have shared was needed and well-meaning, were you not showered with accolades for your incredible wisdom? Simply put, it was YOUR agenda, not theirs!
Most likely, the MO for the “delivery” was “telling.” Although unintended, telling may send the authoritative and self-righteous message, “I’m right, you’re wrong. I know best.”
Reasoning and logic should prevail. When it doesn’t, you might be tempted to unload more of the same. Your message gains intensity. You may even rinse and repeat … speaking LOUDER with each attempt!!!
Many “distractions” work against real-time, self-awareness. Leaders are particularly vulnerable. Experience, expertise and ego can shield us from our blind spots; often making it difficult to step back and see our behavior, as others do. Ultimately, our effectiveness can be compromised.
In my next post, I will share simple and practical steps for setting a tone of engagement and collaboration … Being Right AND Effective!
About the author: For over 30 years, Rich has been a trusted leadership adviser, coach and bridge builder. He is well-known for his personal coaching style and his unique ability to align organizations and teams, driving engagement, fast results and lasting transformational change.