My clients often ask me about managing and coaching in difficult situations ... aka, dealing with difficult people!
Since we can’t control how others behave, and we should never, ever try, I thought it would be useful to share a few important reminders when addressing tough PEOPLE challenges.
First of all, people don’t get up in the morning with the INTENTION of making our lives difficult. Most often, they are simply doing what THEY think is right under the circumstances, given their perceptions and experiences. So, try your best to understand where they are coming from.
Having said that, as a Leader/Coach, you don’t have to agree with or accept their behavior. If it is problematic for them and others, it becomes your responsibility to step in.
Since you can’t control them, you can control YOU!
LiPPS™: Listen, give your full attention, ask questions, and summarize what they've said. Avoid judgment, negativity, and finger-pointing. Solicit their thoughts on how to proceed.
Take Notes and Stay Calm: Being calm and writing down what you hear can help you control your thoughts, words, and actions.
Apply the One-Hand Clap: Avoid confrontation. Confrontations can lead to stress, anxiety, physical health issues, and interpersonal problems. Instead of countering with your opinion, ask them to say more and listen.
Set Boundaries: Boundaries remind people what's acceptable to you and what's reasonable to expect from you.
Ask a Lot of Open-Ended Questions … people typically don’t argue if you are genuinely probing/trying to work on their agenda and what’s important to them.
Be Honest: If the “difficult one” is your boss, or not, approach with honesty, present a confident plan, and show you are solution-oriented.
If you would like to reach out, I’m here for you.
Best wishes for your continued success,
Rich